It's Not Cocky to Say You are Awesome: You Deserve It

In today's narcissistic, "every man for themselves" society, it is very easy to feel lost in the crowd, especially with all the expectations that are placed on us as people. No one wakes up in the morning thinking about how great a job you did at work the other day, or how fantastic it is that you have found a new hobby, or the fact that you are beginning to gain a newfound confidence in your craft. Positive accomplishments as such do indeed deserve recognition, but realistically, sometimes we are burdened with more negativity then anything and because of this, we beat ourselves up.


We beat ourselves up for thinking we are not as great as someone else, we beat ourselves up for not being where we want to be in our lives/careers, we beat ourselves up because we feel as if we aren't enough, and finally, we beat ourselves up based on the opinions of others. Constantly, we are bombarded with distractions that tell us we can't do certain things and that we are limited in our accomplishments.



However, it is important to work on changing that mindset. Yes, everyone has things that need improvement and yes we do have insecurities within us that tell us we can't be successful in whatever it is we desire for ourselves, but nonetheless, we deserve to give ourselves credit for how far we have come and what we bring to the table as people. We have to do this for ourselves, because constant validation from other people is close to nonexistent.



For me, I'm damn proud of myself for starting a blog and expressing my authentic voice. I'm proud that I am a writer and a fabulous one at that. I'm proud that in spite of succumbing to negativity sometimes, I am determined to build myself as a person and thus keep going. I'm proud for continuing on with charm and class on a daily basis even through I struggle with depression from time to time, and I'm proud for being unique, articulate, ambitious, creative, and having the ability to connect with people. Acknowledge your strengths despite feelings of inadequacy and fear in this world. Start small by beginning to see yourself as awesome. Not only will it take you far, but you deserve it.

5 Ways Blogging Gives you Confidence as a Person

In today's world, there are tons and tons of blogs to read that range from a variety of different topics. There are fashion blogs, technology blogs, cooking, lifestyle, and even blogs dedicated to feminism. The list is truly endless because everyone out there has a story and ideas to contribute regardless of whether or not you are a professional or well seasoned writer. Previously, my ass was clueless to the blogging world. I was at a point where I was really trying to find my place as a writer and contemplated whether or not the title of "a writer" should even be associated with my name. I know doubtful right? But I'm human and that kind of mindset comes along with self-discovery and career building. Everything takes time. Now, however, I am proud to say that I absolutely LOVE being a blogger and I am kinda blog obsessed these days. But I have a reason to be because blogs are awesome and so is blogging. Here are 5 ways that blogging gives you confidence as a person.

1. You feel like a total badass because what you have written is yours

As a writing major who is determined to better my craft, taking a look at what I have written is truly liberating. You actually have the chance to see for yourself how much you have grown as a writer and as a person by analyzing and editing your own content.


2. You are voicing your opinion.

In today's age of social media, we do indeed have the opportunity to voice our different opinions on various platforms. However, sometimes the amount we put out there is limited because of the domain. Sometimes I have to remind myself that FB isn't my blog and thus the paragraph posted just isn't needed. When you have your own blog however, you have a voice that isn't constrained because of the ability to say whatever tf you want.


3. You actually feel like you have accomplished something big, however small.

Every accomplishment in life should be viewed as big, but in the grande scheme of things, we equate "big" things with landing a writing internship, getting our articles published on other sites, or getting a book published. However, having your own blog is god damn powerful. It's yours, you say what you want, you have the ability to impact lives, and you are developing your writing skills. You are one one foot in the door, and every writer, every person, needs a head start.

4. It allows you to grow intellectually as a person because you are bettering your life and thinking

We spend so much time these days on social media just browsing and wasting time. But a blog allows you to have something productive to do on a daily basis. You get to talk about solid and relevant issues that matter beyond likes and hashtags.

5. It gives you a creative edge

Finally, not everyone is a blogger and not every blogger will be able to blog like you do. Your voice is unique and special. It's always great to know you have finally found a talent that is fun and gives you some damn personality.

6 Things the Perpetually Nice Person Experiences

It's often said that "nice people finish last." Not sure if that is the actual quote, but the way I coined it makes it an accurate statement. Nonetheless, this is a world of the fast and the furious. Where we are taught to look out for ourselves and that being too sensitive gets you absolutely no where. I can vouch for that statement partially because even as a super softy myself, it is crucial to tough it out in uncomfortable situations and be assertive when we need to, because unfortunately, that's just how the world operates. However, who wants to be a bitch or a a total douche bag just because society says so? There is a fine line between becoming a cold hearted human being and being strong, assertive, and savvy. If you are a naturally kind hearted person, I can tell you that it is definitely difficult to find a balance between nice, too nice, and a total bitch. Here are 6 things that happen as the perpetual nice guy.

1. You begin to reveal your inner diva and then feel bad about it.

I am sure that there are some people who were total softies at one point and then became that "ruthless" person. It happens. It happens because places like the work place need bold people who get things done and who aren't easily swayed or offended by the opinions of others. I think my last point is valid, but I am sure most nice people go through the stage (me currently) where they say bold shit, do bold shit, and then feel like a bad person who totally feels like they run the world.

2. You are naturally friendly and charming towards people, and when it's not reciprocated, you feel like you are an alien from outer space.

It's definitely easy for nice people to feel like they belong on Mars. Of course there are super nice and bubbly people in the world. I come across them everyday along with the sour ones. However, most people these days are not so bold in their expression of kindness because of what has been ingrained in us otherwise. So when we feel bold enough to smile at a person randomly, we shutter quietly as that person greets us with a straight face.

3. You begin to get apprehensive when dealing with people.

Whether you are introverted or extroverted, you are a pleasant person and who doesn't like pleasant? However, because of your previous situations with people who put a damper on your happy bubble, you assume everyone in the world has a heart of stone.

4. You are utterly relieved when you meet other nice and bubbly people.

When you finally meet people that share in your automatic flavour of exuberance, you feel that yes, there is hope for me and the rest of us nice souls and there is definitely a space for me in this world. You figure that you can go ahead and randomly compliment people without feeling like an overly friendly weirdo after all.

5. You may be sensitive, and feel that because you are you can't take on the world

I am definitely guilty of this. I'm naturally sensitive and because things get to me sometimes, I'll assume that I can't pursue my dream of becoming a speaker and my life is doomed and confined to the walls of my bedroom.

6. You waver between being a bitch and and a softy.

Finally, you go through periods where you actually wonder if you should just be a bitch and call it a day, figuring that yes, now my life will be easy and people will never take advantage of me.

Truth is though, I don't regret being nice because I can be assertive and still make people feel like they matter. That's pretty damn awesome.

It's OK to NOT be OK...

Being vulnerable and open with our emotions is something I think a lot of people sway from. When we feel sad, we try and stuff our feelings down in the hope that it will go away. We do this with food, people, media, distractions that take us away from our problems. However, when we feel sad, we feel it deeply and wholeheartedly and secretly yearn for someone to look into our eyes and tell us that everything will be ok. Even if this isn't vocalized, it's a fleeting thought for most because it is a natural human condition to feel connected to each other. To feel like yes, I am feeling sad today, but you know what, someone else gets how I feel.


I'm not talking about depression, which is much deeper. I am talking about sadness. An empty feeling that consumes one sometimes and passes by like a stranger uninvited in the most abrupt and unexpected way. It's like being out in the sun, enjoying the view of the grass and the sounds of kids playing and then, BOOM, a cold wind hits you in the pit of your soul and stays there while the sun continues to radiate throughout the day.It comes randomly, as a reminder that life isn't perfect. I know this has been experienced by everyone because we cannot be happy 24/7 despite the fact that this is what the world expects of us. I know this is true because as time goes on and different experiences fill the lives of different people around us and at different times, and as social media portrays countless images of "happiness" for different people, we yearn to find our solace and our sense of peace. I know this is true, because someone is not always there to tell us that they understand and we are left to place the puzzle pieces of our emotions together for ourselves.


I'm so incredibly open about how I feel, because it is healthy to reveal that yes, I feel like crying sometimes and yes it's a struggle to find my way in this big world because I have been taught to put the pieces of my life together for myself and sometimes I feel lost, confused, and frustrated. I'm open about it because it is my place not to cover up the emotions that have been thrust on me as a human being for fear of being ridiculed and judged, despite the fact that the girl you saw the other day very well may have cried herself to sleep. I'm open about it, because being sad sometimes isn't our fault but is a part of life and I guess our job is to accept this and find our way to peace. It's OK, not to be OK sometimes, because you know what, it will pass, and it will happen time and time again as life changes from day to day, but at least you know now that you aren't alone.

What Working Retail has Taught Me

Getting a job, whether part-time or full time is a great experience, especially if you are fresh to the working world. You get a chance to really see how things work in particular job sectors and you get to meet a lot of great people. Some, not so great, but they nonetheless teach you something. Getting a job however, can be nerve-racking. The interview processes these days require you to really stand out from the crowd and know your stuff. You have to search the company before arriving at your interview, ensure that you are pleasant to ALL people within the company (even people who are not interviewing you), and you have to ensure you SPEAK UP by asking employers questions and standing out in group interviews. I am on the reserved side, but I have a knack for talking to people and being charismatic in these situations, despite the fact that I have a long way to go. I have worked retail and I can definitely say this is a great industry, particularly for people who want to get themselves out there more. Here are 6 things I have learned thus far.

1. You have to jump right in there. Fresh off the scene or not!

I know this is a must for any job, because you have to show initiative and jump right in there when you first start, but nerves and confusion can get in the way sometimes. However, in retail, you have no choice but to get your ball in the court as soon as you clock in because people will be expecting you to know your stuff especially if you are working in a big establishment. People everywhere want to know where the closest escalator is, what the price check on something is, where the bathroom is (...), and where the closest cash register is. So really, even if it is your first day, there really is no time to twiddle your thumbs in retail.


2. You learn to speak up

Even if you are not working in retail, a job forces you to speak up anyway because obviously you need to be heard if you have questions or concerns, or especially if you have a boss who expects you to be outgoing. Sucks for introverts, but that is how it goes. Nonetheless, retail gives you a voice you may not have had before and this will happen whether you are prepared for it or not. You are the first person people see on the floor before they get to cash, so first impressions are everything. And if I might add, coming from someone who likes an excuse to talk to people and be my bubbly over friendly self, it is actually fun after a while.

3. You have a reason to look cute at every freakin shift

Retail is all about fashion, whether basic or Louis Vuitton type ish. It is an industry that is based much on fist impressions so it is a great opportunity to dress up and look professional, especially for people who are already into that vibe anyway. You also get to learn new fashion trends from your employees and see first hand what the go to looks for the season really are.


4. You start to want everything in the store. Literally.

When working retail, you are surrounded by cute ish every minute of the day while you are at work so it is so hard not to want to try to coordinate an outfit while you try and get a nagging customer that last pair of jeans that is in stock. You will probably end up putting every item you can on hold but if you are broke as hell like me, keeping shit in a budget is the way to go.

5. You learn to deal with various personalities.
As much as we would love for everyone in the world to have a heart of gold, that is not how it works. There will be rude customers who blatantly ignore your charming hello, annoying kids running around the store and heading towards your freshly stocked shelf, and bosses and employees with strong personalities. However, different personalities allow us to really toughen up for the real world, because the truth is, there are all TYPES of people.

6 You gain more respect for employees when you go shopping

Before I worked retail, I was one of those people who did not give af if I just threw a jacket over a perfectly clean rack because I just assumed that someone would be there to take it up and fix it. However, working in retail can be frustrating because you have to ensure your assigned sections are cleaned before the end of the night, something that can be hard to accomplish when people are constantly messing up shelves and throwing things around carelessly. So, when you shop for yourself, you remember those annoying customers and will go and make an effort to fix that sweater that fell off the rack. Well...sometimes. :p

Lonliness. It can be dreadful, but it's there for our own good

Feeling lonely can suck. It's the feeling of being around yourself 24/7 but not really feeling like anyone gets you, can connect to your emotions, or moments of confusion and despair. In this technological crazed society, it's easy to feel lonely because no one really takes the time to pick up the phone and call each other anymore. Everyone is just a Facebook message and text away these days, and honestly, it hurts sometimes. It hurts to go to bed with your own thoughts wishing someone could comfort you and it hurts knowing that not everyone will understand how to relate to you and cater to your needs. It hurts knowing that as you get older, the hugs seem less and the check ins seem far and few, and it hurts to know that for the most part, we will have to get used to this feeling because it's a part of life.

However, loneliness allows us to develop a strength within our selves that may have been lacking before. We learn not to expect so much from people, especially if we are naturally giving people ourselves. We know that when someone fails to text us back in our moments of need, that instead of hating that person for failing to reply, we can do something ourselves to fill a void and provide ourselves with comfort. There is a resilience that is built through loneliness. As human beings, we sometimes feel that a love interest will perhaps fill any void that we may have had. But the truth is, no human being can do that for us, we gotta do it for ourselves even though it hurts sometimes and even though there are many days alone, these days allow us to tap into who we are as people and begin the journey of becoming our true selves and our own best friends. So will there be more lonely days ahead? Yes there will, and sometimes it will get to us. But rest assured, we will be able to handle it a lot better than we did before.

Why Comparing Ourselves to Others is Stupid

There was a time in our lives when we never compared ourselves to anyone. When we crawled around the floor and picked up stale peanuts with our mouths and pooped all over our mother's good sheets. Yup, we were babies then. Naive, messy, cute little souls who couldn't give a hoot what the other baby across the playground was doing because momma warmed up a nice bottle that did us just right. I miss those days sometimes, even though I can't remember them, because back then, there was no competition, no looking over the shoulders to see what everyone else was doing. I think for a while I convinced myself that I don't compare myself to other people, but sometimes, it creeps up on me, and the feeling, is absolutely horrible. We compare and judge where we are in our lives in comparison to other people, and presume that the world must be coming to an end because everyone's life is somehow better than ours. For instance, I've been single my whole life and I'll admit, I went through the stage where I dwelled on it for a while. I'm not there anymore, but now and then when I hear or see things happening around me, I feel like I've been left out and those old, horrible, freakin, "I must be missing out thoughts" reemerge and ruin my whole freakin day. I might slip up because I am indeed human, but at least I'll have these reasons to fall back on the next time I see myself going back down there again. Here are 6 reasons why comparison should be marked as a sin in the Holy Bible.

1. It distracts us from who we are as a person

Every time we compare ourselves to someone else, we aren't being ourselves and that just screws up our whole aura. Do you ever notice that when you compare yourself to someone else, you feel lost? When you are focused on you, everything in your life seems to be going great, but the minute we slip up and dwell on other people, we feel like absolute and utter shit. It is a distraction from our purpose. Someone else's life is not meant to be ours and the minute we sway, we lose who WE are.

2. It's insulting

I saw a quote online that says when we compare ourselves to others we are "insulting" ourselves. The first time I saw that quote, I thought it was quite arrogant. Why would we be insulting ourselves? What is wrong with the other person that we feel the need to put ourselves on a pedestal? However, what I get from that quote now, is that comparison is truly an insult because we are telling ourselves that our lives have no meaning so why not compare it to someone else's?

3. It ruins the notion of being an individualist, and that freakin rocks

Think about it, and while you think, I'll think right with ya. If we compare ourselves, are we being who we were called to be? Every person has skills, dreams, assets, and life experiences that are their own, so why compare? Who tf cares what the next person is doing, because you rock and what you bring to the table, is truly unique. When it comes to bettering ourselves, there is nothing wrong with being selfish

4. It makes us feel like we need to be doing what everyone else is doing, but everyone's path is different (We can't eff up our paths)

Everyone was created differently, and thus, what works for you, may not work for someone else, and vice versa. For instance, if someone gets a job before you and you ask yourself, "why not me?" The very reason could be that the job for YOU, just hasn't arrived yet along with the timing to get the job. I know it is cliche this topic, because we have all been there at one point or the other and we are always told not to compare, but still in some way, end up doing it. However, over time, we will realize that comparison, can actually ruin OUR lives.

6. The more we focus on ourselves, the happier we are for people.

The thing with jealousy is that it is the worst emotion in the whole world and can literally make us crazy and into someone we thought we could never be. But, it is an emotion and just comes from lack of self-awareness. When we tap into being amazing people, we expect others to also be amazing and thus, envy and anxiety dissipate into the air.
Finally, it's annoying, exhausting, and it makes us feel crappy. Clearly we were built individually for a reason and that's why we need to focus on ourselves.

Writing this blog post, I am trying not to be fake, because I am still in the process of getting it together, but I'm a writer and i will write this for my readers, and also for myself. This is a topic that will never go out of style, because honestly, we have all been there.

Social Media: I Take Breaks. Here's Why.

Ahh, social media. The pics, the likes, the updates. It's all shoved into our faces every single moment we decide to log onto our social media accounts. It has become a major part of our culture and is known as the culture that perpetuates the notion to be seen, heard, recognized, and ultimately, validated. I'll admit it, I enjoy social media at times and who doesn't. I would be a complete fake if I sat here and wrote this article without expressing the fact that I post pics of myself, awesome pics, and construct my social media pages in the best way possible.

That's what it is for. Social media is meant to highlight the best of the best, the glam and the happenings. Of course there will be occasional posts that are sad and draw the attention of fellow social media users, or stories that perhaps captivate us at the heart.

There are posts begging others to sympathize in the midst of a lost loved one, and posts that rant and rave about how awful the day is going. However, for the most part, we post the good. We post the good so that we can of course showcase how proud we are of ourselves and what we may have accomplished, but we also showcase the good for appraisal. It's just how it works. However, what can also happen in the midst of our social media craze, is the need to compare ourselves to other people, appear perfect at all times, and because what we wish to share is only a click away, we voice our opinions sometimes without truly thinking. For me, I have caught myself getting distracted by the lives of other people and have definitely posted without thinking, posted too much, and have succumbed to the pressures to be perfect. So, I take breaks. I truly try and tap into what it means to be human outside of this technologically crazed generation, and try and tap back into my life beyond the likes and posts. I take breaks so I can redefine who I am again. I take breaks because it's tiring to constantly be technologically charged and emotionally drained. I take breaks, because I am often a different person outside of social media. I am not saying we should not showcase our best selves and share our moments with others, but what I am saying is that time spent to be human and really re-evaluate our lives is necessary for our sanity.

Your Path Won't Look Like Anyone Else's : Delight in That

<3

Hii, I'm back people's! Did ya miss me??? (Y'll better say yes and with a smile) LOL. Today's discussion is on the journey or in other words, your journey. Have you ever sat and thought to yourself, why haven't I gotten the job yet, the boyfriend/girlfriend perhaps, the career goals put together, the interesting experiences filled with travel and bliss? We all have and let's be honest, sometimes all this thinking can get to us and make us feel pretty crummy. Now I'm not into the comparison game, but let's be honest, sometimes it creeps up on us. We get distracted by what's around us and assume that whatever everyone else has going on means that we need to be experiencing that as well, which in fact my friends, is far from the truth. I know personally that I am my best self when I am focused on me, and I am in that process now. The point is, that you will get to a stage where you realize that you can't be like everyone else and your journey is strictly what works best for you and the flow of your life. Don't worry if Becky got a job, be happy for Becky and know that your time is coming and in your way. Joy will be yours. The best thing we can do for ourselves is focus on OUR journey, and trust me, I am still learning this daily. It is called OUR journey for a reason...What works for you is what works for you. If you really think about it, having a warped mentality of how are lives should be going is so damaging. Do you and just live your life. I know with social media its easy to get caught up, but your path is so unique and empowering in its own way. Less distractions means learning more about ourselves. Happiness lies in discovering our path and truly keeping that as our focus. Your jounrney, yo business, your way. #notetoself Hugs and kisses ya'll

You don't have to do what everyone else is doing...

"Heyyyyyy, yaaaaaaaa!" Forgive me as I quote "Outcast" people. Damn, music back then was poppin. How are you guys? Hopefully you are peachy and just fabulous, and if not, allow me to sprinkle some happy dust on you. *Sprinkles dust* LOL I'm crazy ya'll you know this already. Anyway, I'm sitting here in Starbucks now sippin one of the most amazing freakin fraps (Pumpkin Frapp, go and get that ishh right away) and I am having a moment of deep, insightful awakening. This my friends, is the notion that you can live your live exactly the way YOU want to live it. Let us both meditate on these words for a moment. You can live your life exactly the way that YOU want to live it. Now, I have mentioned this in my other blog posts, but I am a super sensitive person. I am not going to deny that. As a matter of fact, for all of my sensitive souls out there, your sensitivity is actually a gift. You have the ability to relate to others on an emotional level, while also tapping into your logic. Pretty cool if I do say so myself. Moving further, I sometimes have the tendency to get offended easily. If someone says something regarding my persona as a more reserved person perhaps, and this is usually involving people of a much more extroverted nature, I tend to feel uncomfortable and judged.

Or, a more popular comment, especially amongst young people, is the notion of turning uppp and all the way up and if you aren't drinking, partying, and being what society deems as cool, you are just weird. I know for a fact at least ONE of my readers can relate to this. Now on my part, I just need to learn not to get offended so damn easily, and that my friends, with all things in this life, comes with time and I will get there. However, I have learned something positive from these encounters, and that is that you live your life the way you want to live it. If you feel like turning all the way up, turn up, but don't judge someone else for not having the same experiences that you have had. For me right now, I'm focused on becoming a better writer, building confidence and resiliency, discovering my God given purpose, and just being an all around kick ass person. We are all here to live our individual lives and enjoy happiness, success, and all the other goodies that come along with this life. However, as you will realize as time goes on, someone will always have something to say to you, whether it be positive or negative, but remember that you don't have to take in what everyone says to you, as in to become an external mold, built from the opinions of others. This is why it is often a struggle to find ourselves in life, because there are so many damn expectations of who and what we should be. But, the only person you were created to be, is yourself. I am still learning that myself, and cannot wait for the day where I can fully and confidently stand in my truth, whatever that is. As Eleanor Roosevelt put it best, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." So, do you and do what makes you happy. :)

Trying to Make my Path Clear: The Fogginess is Real

Now, before you cuss me out mentally for neglecting this blog, just hear me out. Writers have personal shit just like you, and basically, I'm in a space in my life right now where I am trying to figure out my life path and get my thoughts together, so going ghost on my part has its reasons. Nonetheless, because we love each other, I know I am already forgiven :) Anyway, questions hitting me lately have been, Who am I? What are my interests? What are my goals? What is my true purpose and what am I destined to do? I know, deep shit right? But the deeper the better, because it gives life meaning. How awful it would be if we just woke up day by day, went to school, went to work, went back home, just to do it all over again and not really have a sense of desire, or a hungriness for more?

That's where I'm at right now. In the midst of feeling confused as hell about how to be an adult, working, trying to hand in school assignments on time, and blocking out outside distractions that can bring negativity (this can be people and things), I am truly trying to carve out a life path for myself, and I know you are too, slowly but surely. I'm a Pisces by the way. Not sure if any of you are into astrology, but if you think it is evil, please don't preach to me, it's not that deep. I mention this only because my sign plays a role in how I think. We are dreamers and often lean more towards the arts, hence why I am a writer. For me, my mind is always dreaming. Either thinking about becoming an actress, public speaker, or best selling author...don't laugh, but my mind has always been in the clouds ever since I was little and that's ok. Lol. At least this means that although things aren't perfect now, the fact that my mind is focused on something greater, there are better things in store for me and you too. I know, it's hard sometimes to figure everything out, but we are in this together. Life is a game that has to be played whether we like it or not, but putting our minds to focus on things that give us joy can really make life feel meaningful. Things such as self-improvement, our dreams, and ambitions. It's a little foggy now, but I have faith that things will be clear pretty soon for us. Keep dreaming and keep hoping. Most of all, have faith. It's all working out, because we aren't here to just do just live and die. There is something much much bigger.

"Bang Ups and Hang Ups?"

It's August already people. Where has the time gone? I have indeed neglected this blog for a while, so please forgive me? We can share a cyber hug and a peck on the cheek if that's okay with you. I've neglected blogging and some other things perhaps, because I feel kind of confused about well, everything. Now I know, this blog is supposed to be positive and it is! Don't worry. I will graciously provide the goodies later on. But right now, I feel it is important to express how one is truly feeling and I honestly feel the pressures of young adulthood getting to me. The decisions, the responsibilities...ya feel me? For instance, people will ask me why I haven't gotten my license or what it is I am planning to do as a career once I finish school? I will say that some of these questions are far-fetched, but are nonetheless a part of this game we call life. But the path and pace for everyone is truly different. In spite of this, I guess I thought I would have everything figured out by now. I want to be swift and purposeful and have it all together, but it doesn't seem that way at all right now. When you look on social media sites such as Facebook and Instagram, on the surface, everyone looks as if they seem to have life all figured out. But what about the behind the scenes? What about the grind, the contemplation, the moments of frustration that people do not see? These are all real. However, I am a fighter and I'll figure everything out slowly but surely. Even as a writer, I will admit that I feel lost. I am in school for writing, but the actual title of a "writer" seems distant to me. Although despite that feeling here I am in front of my computer screen writing, because I refuse to give up and just throw in the towel and say "Life, take me as you will." I am now realizing that "Bang Ups and Hang Ups" push us beyond our limits. They force us to straighten out and really fight back when we are feeling defeated. Up is all we got people and we have to fight everyday to stay there and reach the stars despite how we may be feeling. The title of this blog post is inspired by Dr. Seuss's "Oh the Places You'll Go" and it does indeed discuss the bang ups and hang ups of life. He says, "You can get so confused that you'll start in to race down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space, headed, I fear toward a most useless place, The Waiting Place..." The Waiting Place is real indeed and is experienced by us all. It's uncomfortable and a little shaky. However, Dr. Seuss provides us with the encouragement that this too shall pass and is only a stepping stone to greatness. "Will you succeed? Yes you will indeed...Kid, you'll move mountains."

Mindful posts can save us; Social media can make us check ourselves

"Hate my life." #forever alone "She tried it. She really tried it." "I'm the baddest bitch...." You are probably reading these phrases right now and wondering what the hell am I saying, but these right here, are examples of posts that some of us might have been guilty of posting on social media outlets out of sheer naivety, anger, sadness, or boredom perhaps. Nonetheless, I am now realizing that what we post on sites such as Facebook really does impact how we are perceived by others. Sometimes it seems like we are just venting for ourselves perhaps, but we have to keep in mind that social media is "social" and other people are there to watch us from the sidelines. I'm not perfect and as I write this blog post, I am thinking about how I can be mindful of this in the future. I've been called out before on my posts, and it was definitely a lesson for me to either practice what I preach or simply be cautious of how I am being perceived by others. Social media sites are tricky because we are all aiming to craft out certain images for ourselves and usually how we think we are branding ourselves can be different from what others have witnessed. Now, don't get me wrong, this is helpful advice, but regardless of if we are doing good or bad in life, we will forever be judged and criticized until the day we die. That is just how life works and comes along with human nature. However, being mindful of what we say and do in this life can truly save our asses.

Managing your mental health is a learning process: You are never alone

Hey ya'll, hope you are all enjoying your summer! The weather is just beautiful daily out here! On another note, I'm blogging today about a topic that I believe is very imperative, whether you or someone you know has dealt with it or not. And that is, mental health, and finding ways to manage it in ways that will be beneficial to you. Now, I totally understand that not everyone can relate to this topic, hence why I try and not make EVERY single post related to mental health, and also for the mere reason of varying my content. However, this will be a topic I will always be an advocate for, because people out there who experience issues such as depression, anxiety, and any other mental illness, needs to understand that I understand and there are millions of individuals world wide who have gone through what you have gone through, even if you feel alone in your battle. I went through a very major depression in 2013, so bad that I literally thought I would never get better. In all of my young life, I have never experienced something so terrifying and mind altering. Now I am no psychologist, but for those who are wondering how depression works, I can explain that for you. Everyone has ups and downs emotionally. That is totally understood. This life is full of unexpectancies, happy moments, periods of enriching self-discovery, and all in all, different surprises that teach us the importance of learning from every experience. So low moods and high moods from time to time, are simply a part of life. However, there are low moods that can be a little different. The one that makes one uninterested in almost anything, sleeping more often, or loss of appetite. Or there is the more severe type, the one where emotional disturbances (severe low mood), leads to thoughts of hopelessness, insignificance, and even death. I experienced the second type of depression in 2013 but I am in a much better place now. However, it is still a daily challenge for me. I still have periods where I am praying I don't slide back down there. Now as a 20 year old woman, I have to look for ways to cope, because in all honesty, most people will not understand what you are going through, at all. Mental illness or emotional struggles are global issues, but experienced on a very personal level. No one will understand unless they have been there themselves and this lack of understanding can sometimes lead to conflict with others. It is very frustrating to feel like you yourself lacks understanding in how to cope, and others around you are trying to cope with you themselves. I'm here to tell you that I understand your pain. I understand your struggle, but you will get through. You just have to keep on fighting every single day and know that you are here for a very important reason. Make a journal of your emotional stability, excercise, eat healthy, listen to uplifting music. Look for ways to combat your challenges. Life is full of surprises, often unflattering ones, but remember, you are here for a very important reason. Peace and love.

If you didn't make mistakes, you would eventually wonder why tf you are here.

It's a beautiful day outside on this lovely Saturday afternoon. I'm hunched over my computer screen and I can hear the birds chirp and cars that wizz by, loud ass music coming from a car every so often. I don't know why some people feel the need to blast their 2 Chainz so loud that the whole neighborhood can join in on their mini turn up session, but let me not lose my train of thought here. I'm sitting here and as I whip through some articles from Thought Catolog, I can't help but feel out of it. Distracted by thoughts of imperfection and flaws. I'm thinking to myself, do I really know enough about myself to see where I can improve? We often get into the habit of judging people on a daily basis, but what about us? How can we improve to be the best we can be? Well, sitting here now, the best advice I can give for evolving into one's best self, is to realize that we will not live on this planet without making several mistakes, often foolish ones. At the time of our mistakes, we may believe we are incapable of making any and will feel bad later on when we realize we have and might beat ourselves up over and over again. Don't. Let the process of life direct you in the best way it knows it can, and just allow yourself to unfold into the being you were called to be. Don't analyze why you were this way and feel bad for yourself, because the mistake you made yesterday is just the first of many. Yeah you will mess up from time to time, but you are still a freakin, super duper, awesome ass person with a great purpose in this life. So don't let your sensitive soul get the best of you, but stand up tall and just keep on going.

Every experience is a stepping stone to greatness

I'll be completely honest with you, I don't necessarily feel like writing right now, but I will because it's a part of me and I love expressing myself. I've been looking for a job for about two months and it is quite frustrating at times. I like to be productive all the time and being home when the weather is all lovely and ish, really isn't my ideal summer plan. However, I am now realizing that sometimes things have to be a little shaky before the goodies come around and that every experience, whether good or bad is a stepping stone to greatness. As much as I despise being unemployed, me being jobless motivates me to keep on searching even if it takes a while and allows me to direct my energies to other aspects of my life that need taking caring of while I wait for employment. On another note, there are also frustrations in our lives. Perhaps we are consumed with how we perceive ourselves and how others perceive us. We may have gotten into a conflict with someone over our attitude for instance. Sometimes people have to keep us in check and remind us of how we can change and grow. The truth hurts at first for sure, especially if you are sensitive like me, but we always end up becoming stronger. I'm an adult now, well at least that's what Canada has declared once you reach the age of 18, lol, and the transition into full adulthood is not easy. We are changing emotionally, growing mentally and physically, and there are more responsibilities to tackle. However, with transition comes some lessons to be learned and the bad usually comes before the good. So you, yes, the one reading this. I know life is not all peaches and cream at times, but you are here for a reason. You have a purpose and it will only be discovered once the storm has passed.

"You're sooo sensitive."

It's been a minute since I've blogged, but I'm here now peoples. So sit back, grab some munchies and let's get real together. As you've noticed from the title of this blog, I'm addressing sensitivity. I've gotten sensitivity associated with me plenty of times. I'll have a dicussion with someone about a topic that I may have taken to heart and I'll get, "You are just sensitive." I'll be honest with you, it bothers me when I hear this because in this cold and often ruthless world, everyone usually wants to see themselves as the tough ass, the one that is capable of handling whatever comes their way and has the ability to take criticism or opinions with a grain of salt. However, not everyone is built that way. To tell you the truth, I don't even think anyone starts off being that way, but the world has the ability to change you. Nice and often naive souls can turn bold and fearless. I'm aiming to get to that point, but what I am not saying is to lose your sensitivity. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being sensitive because that means you have the ability to connect and relate with people on an emotional level and create a deep sense of understanding to whatever someone may going through. The only issue is when one is sensitive to the point where criticism allows you to believe you should give up on your dreams or that you are incapable of conducting yourself in an assertive matter. With time, you will toughen up because you will get tired of being taken advantage of and will begin to realize how the world really works. Nonetheless, keep smiling at people you see on the street, give compliments freely, and feel deeply for others because we need a world where there are more kind and genuine souls. Carry a heart of gold, but just remember to bring your brain with you.

Diary of an Introvert: Semi now...the world changes you

I’m an introvert. Well, partly. I have been since childhood and what most people confuse for shy actually has a name and an explanation. Introverted people are thought to focus more on internal feelings and moods as opposed to seeking out external stimulation. In terms of traits, introverts tend to be more quiet, reserved, and quite introspective. It is also said that introverts need time to recharge after being out for certain periods of time and that it takes more energy to socialize than that of an extrovert. Now, I mentioned earlier that I consider myself to be partly introverted, and this too has a term, ambivert. Weird right? All these names for how we perceive ourselves, but at least there is an explanation for it all. The reason why I consider myself to be an ambivert is because although I am highly introspective and in my head a lot of the times, I make an extra effort to be social in public situations and I do it well. I still have a way to go, but I can spark up a random conversation with someone when I’m out and I’m sure to do so because I feel like I have to. Now I am not saying that introverts don’t do this, but people have told me that they wouldn’t consider me shy and this because of the way I carry myself and of course, there is a reason. I’ve been in public settings where I know absolutely no one and I begin to feel extremely uncomfortable. I start to think, omg people must think I’m such a loner, I have no one to talk to…they are probably wondering why I am so shy. So, as a result, I try to spark conversations with people in public and work through my introversion. I’ve gotten shy equated with me during my childhood and there is this negative connotation associated with it in our society. I remember distinctly feeling out of place a lot of the times when I went to family functions because I considered myself to be different from everyone else. I was quieter than my cousins and everyone always wanted me to break out of my shell. It definitely affected my self-esteem. For a long time I thought something was wrong with me, but now I know that I have introverted traits. For introverts reading this, trust me, I share your pain. It is definitely not easy to have a reserved personality in a society that shuns the shy guy. Even when applying for jobs you may be told to be outgoing and for someone who isn’t, this can seem like a lot of work. Although I try and handle myself when I’m in public, I am still not a fan of crowds, at all. It gives me anxiety and I often feel like I want to run away, but with time, that will get easier. Introverts have to work harder than those who are outgoing because our society is a society of the loud and the memorable. People want to be around those who can crack a joke and attract others to them. It’s effed up in a way, but that’s how it goes unfortunately. My advice for introverts is to slowly but surely make a way for yourself to be memorable. I am not saying to change who you are, but I know the pain you feel being in social settings and to ease the pain, be the first one to introduce yourself. The more you sit quietly, the more uncomfortable you will feel. Making the first move can be exactly what you need to improve your self-esteem and you’ll be surprised at how well you conduct yourself. Introverts are often put on the back burner, but we have all kinds of power. We just have to use it.

Imperfection is Beauty: We are perfect just the way we are

I believe as individuals, we are all on this planet to fulfill a purpose. 
If we weren’t what would be the point of living?  No one can tell me that working a 9-5 shift, sleeping, eating, and doing groceries is all we came here for. There is a higher purpose for all of our lives. One of the things that comes along with that purpose is accepting who we are, just as we are. I’m on that journey now, but to be honest, I think I’ve been on this journey for quite a while. One of the things that I’m working through is trying not to criticize myself. I do this quite a lot. If we are going to get superficial, sometimes it’s hard for me to look into the mirror and simply be happy with who I am, but I am worth loving, so I will continue to work on my self-esteem. Criticism doesn’t just go for looks, it goes for everything. Whether it be our physical appearances or our current life standing, we need to learn acceptance. I know, it’s not that easy, but everything takes time, and with time also comes practice.

We need to be kind and patient with ourselves as we trudge along on this journey called life. I believe in God, and I believe that He has us exactly where we need to be in our lives. Nothing is based on coincidence. He has planned our victories, our tribulations, and our tests because they conspire for our benefit. So, perfectionism really just doesn’t make any sense. If God accepts us, then we should accept us. Now, I am vomiting a whole lot of beautiful philosophy here, but please don’t be under the impression that I have my shit sorted out. I don’t. I am on a journey and writing what I feel is therapeutic and it gives my feelings purpose. Through writing, I hope to help myself and my readers as well. The truth is, we are all a little bit of a mess in some ways. No one has it all together. But there is beauty in imperfection because it allows us to be real and vulnerable and unapologetically honest with ourselves. I am aiming to get to a place where I am totally at peace with who I am. We all are in some way. So as we sort ourselves out day by day, let us remember that perfection may be a stumbling block. We are exactly the way we need to be. And that is beautiful.

I'm on the hunt people. Not for bears, but for a damn JOB. Again. (But, I learned some things along the way)

Ahh, job hunting. All students can relate. School ends and for those who haven’t hopped on the job hunting bandwagon right away (ME), now is the time to do all of the lovely and amazing things that have to do with applying for a job. Please note that the sarcasm put into that last sentence was quite deep. There’s the online applications with the surveys and the profile creations. Now this isn’t always tedious, but sometimes it can be. Like damn, I am applying for a part-time job, not my career. However, I guess this is policy and with policy comes effort. So far, I haven’t had any luck applying online. I fixed up my resume thanks to a friend who advised me that it needed some work, so hopefully this makes a big difference.

Personally, I am not a fan of applying for jobs online. I just feel like because employers can’t see you and your awesomeness, you are just another resume to be scanned. I feel like chances are slim this way. However, I heard this is actually the best way to apply for jobs. We’ll see about that. In an effort to make myself known, I went on a hunt through Yorkdale and handed out my resume everywhere. Chile, when I tell you the desperateness was real. LOL I made it known that I was eager to work and when asked of my availability, I said all day every day. Just CALL ME. Lmao. My hunt was pretty successful. A few places said they were hiring, but of course, I can’t give up. Just because a store takes your resume and smiles at you, does not mean you got the job or that they will call. So my hopes are up, but I’m being smart here. On a side note, there are a few things I learned when anticipating work.

1.       Know the company through and through

Okay, I just wasn’t prepared in this aspect. I literally just printed out resumes and handed them out to random places hoping to get a job. LOL. However, when speaking with employers, they actually want to know that you took the time to study the company. One company asked me what the latest fashion trends right now are.  I smiled, and smiled some more, and admitted in the most charming way that my ass hadn’t had a clue. So, I now know that even if I sporadically decide to go on a job hunt, having information about a few companies that are hiring will help greatly and leave an impression on employers. Research is key

2.       Print LOTS OF RESUMES

I printed 20 resumes and thought I was good. I had them all tucked away in a duo-tang folder and I was like yes, imma get hired today! However, I ran out of resumes and found stores that were hiring! It’s a bummer because then some employers will only take your resume and if they do give you an application to fill out there, it still leaves the impression that you are not prepared. I believe 40 resumes would be most ideal, even more at that. Well, as long as you have a printer and the fees to pay if you go to a library!

3.       Smile, be charming, and even humorous

Applying for jobs in person is not that hard really, but first impressions are everything. It can be nerve racking for some people, but my advice is to plaster on a smile and be as charming as possible. I am more on the reserved side, but I hardly show it in public. Ain’t nobody got time for that. So, even if it seems scary, remember that what you give out you get back. The employer interviewing you has no clue what you are thinking or your true emotions. So if you give the impression of calmness and charm that is exactly what they will get.  Answer each question enthusiastically and if asked about your hobbies, don’t say the least extraordinary hobby (e.g. reading), but say something like watching thriller movies or singing.  Not that reading isn't awesome, but every employer is different and for some, the last thing they read was a How To manuel.

4.       Don’t underestimate your worth when it comes to a job

I did this often. If a store looked, well, boogie, I thought I should just stick to something more low-end. However, we can’t stay in the same job category forever and we can have whatever job we want as long as we are willing to work and play our roles well. We have to believe that we are not beneath any form of employment. This is a serious lesson for me. I have the skills and charm to do any job I want and so do you, so what is there to be concerned about?