It's often said that "nice people finish last." Not sure if that is the actual quote, but the way I coined it makes it an accurate statement. Nonetheless, this is a world of the fast and the furious. Where we are taught to look out for ourselves and that being too sensitive gets you absolutely no where. I can vouch for that statement partially because even as a super softy myself, it is crucial to tough it out in uncomfortable situations and be assertive when we need to, because unfortunately, that's just how the world operates. However, who wants to be a bitch or a a total douche bag just because society says so? There is a fine line between becoming a cold hearted human being and being strong, assertive, and savvy. If you are a naturally kind hearted person, I can tell you that it is definitely difficult to find a balance between nice, too nice, and a total bitch. Here are 6 things that happen as the perpetual nice guy.
1. You begin to reveal your inner diva and then feel bad about it.
I am sure that there are some people who were total softies at one point and then became that "ruthless" person. It happens. It happens because places like the work place need bold people who get things done and who aren't easily swayed or offended by the opinions of others. I think my last point is valid, but I am sure most nice people go through the stage (me currently) where they say bold shit, do bold shit, and then feel like a bad person who totally feels like they run the world.
2. You are naturally friendly and charming towards people, and when it's not reciprocated, you feel like you are an alien from outer space.
It's definitely easy for nice people to feel like they belong on Mars. Of course there are super nice and bubbly people in the world. I come across them everyday along with the sour ones. However, most people these days are not so bold in their expression of kindness because of what has been ingrained in us otherwise. So when we feel bold enough to smile at a person randomly, we shutter quietly as that person greets us with a straight face.
3. You begin to get apprehensive when dealing with people.
Whether you are introverted or extroverted, you are a pleasant person and who doesn't like pleasant? However, because of your previous situations with people who put a damper on your happy bubble, you assume everyone in the world has a heart of stone.
4. You are utterly relieved when you meet other nice and bubbly people.
When you finally meet people that share in your automatic flavour of exuberance, you feel that yes, there is hope for me and the rest of us nice souls and there is definitely a space for me in this world. You figure that you can go ahead and randomly compliment people without feeling like an overly friendly weirdo after all.
5. You may be sensitive, and feel that because you are you can't take on the world
I am definitely guilty of this. I'm naturally sensitive and because things get to me sometimes, I'll assume that I can't pursue my dream of becoming a speaker and my life is doomed and confined to the walls of my bedroom.
6. You waver between being a bitch and and a softy.
Finally, you go through periods where you actually wonder if you should just be a bitch and call it a day, figuring that yes, now my life will be easy and people will never take advantage of me.
Truth is though, I don't regret being nice because I can be assertive and still make people feel like they matter. That's pretty damn awesome.
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