6 Things the Perpetually Nice Person Experiences

It's often said that "nice people finish last." Not sure if that is the actual quote, but the way I coined it makes it an accurate statement. Nonetheless, this is a world of the fast and the furious. Where we are taught to look out for ourselves and that being too sensitive gets you absolutely no where. I can vouch for that statement partially because even as a super softy myself, it is crucial to tough it out in uncomfortable situations and be assertive when we need to, because unfortunately, that's just how the world operates. However, who wants to be a bitch or a a total douche bag just because society says so? There is a fine line between becoming a cold hearted human being and being strong, assertive, and savvy. If you are a naturally kind hearted person, I can tell you that it is definitely difficult to find a balance between nice, too nice, and a total bitch. Here are 6 things that happen as the perpetual nice guy.

1. You begin to reveal your inner diva and then feel bad about it.

I am sure that there are some people who were total softies at one point and then became that "ruthless" person. It happens. It happens because places like the work place need bold people who get things done and who aren't easily swayed or offended by the opinions of others. I think my last point is valid, but I am sure most nice people go through the stage (me currently) where they say bold shit, do bold shit, and then feel like a bad person who totally feels like they run the world.

2. You are naturally friendly and charming towards people, and when it's not reciprocated, you feel like you are an alien from outer space.

It's definitely easy for nice people to feel like they belong on Mars. Of course there are super nice and bubbly people in the world. I come across them everyday along with the sour ones. However, most people these days are not so bold in their expression of kindness because of what has been ingrained in us otherwise. So when we feel bold enough to smile at a person randomly, we shutter quietly as that person greets us with a straight face.

3. You begin to get apprehensive when dealing with people.

Whether you are introverted or extroverted, you are a pleasant person and who doesn't like pleasant? However, because of your previous situations with people who put a damper on your happy bubble, you assume everyone in the world has a heart of stone.

4. You are utterly relieved when you meet other nice and bubbly people.

When you finally meet people that share in your automatic flavour of exuberance, you feel that yes, there is hope for me and the rest of us nice souls and there is definitely a space for me in this world. You figure that you can go ahead and randomly compliment people without feeling like an overly friendly weirdo after all.

5. You may be sensitive, and feel that because you are you can't take on the world

I am definitely guilty of this. I'm naturally sensitive and because things get to me sometimes, I'll assume that I can't pursue my dream of becoming a speaker and my life is doomed and confined to the walls of my bedroom.

6. You waver between being a bitch and and a softy.

Finally, you go through periods where you actually wonder if you should just be a bitch and call it a day, figuring that yes, now my life will be easy and people will never take advantage of me.

Truth is though, I don't regret being nice because I can be assertive and still make people feel like they matter. That's pretty damn awesome.

It's OK to NOT be OK...

Being vulnerable and open with our emotions is something I think a lot of people sway from. When we feel sad, we try and stuff our feelings down in the hope that it will go away. We do this with food, people, media, distractions that take us away from our problems. However, when we feel sad, we feel it deeply and wholeheartedly and secretly yearn for someone to look into our eyes and tell us that everything will be ok. Even if this isn't vocalized, it's a fleeting thought for most because it is a natural human condition to feel connected to each other. To feel like yes, I am feeling sad today, but you know what, someone else gets how I feel.


I'm not talking about depression, which is much deeper. I am talking about sadness. An empty feeling that consumes one sometimes and passes by like a stranger uninvited in the most abrupt and unexpected way. It's like being out in the sun, enjoying the view of the grass and the sounds of kids playing and then, BOOM, a cold wind hits you in the pit of your soul and stays there while the sun continues to radiate throughout the day.It comes randomly, as a reminder that life isn't perfect. I know this has been experienced by everyone because we cannot be happy 24/7 despite the fact that this is what the world expects of us. I know this is true because as time goes on and different experiences fill the lives of different people around us and at different times, and as social media portrays countless images of "happiness" for different people, we yearn to find our solace and our sense of peace. I know this is true, because someone is not always there to tell us that they understand and we are left to place the puzzle pieces of our emotions together for ourselves.


I'm so incredibly open about how I feel, because it is healthy to reveal that yes, I feel like crying sometimes and yes it's a struggle to find my way in this big world because I have been taught to put the pieces of my life together for myself and sometimes I feel lost, confused, and frustrated. I'm open about it because it is my place not to cover up the emotions that have been thrust on me as a human being for fear of being ridiculed and judged, despite the fact that the girl you saw the other day very well may have cried herself to sleep. I'm open about it, because being sad sometimes isn't our fault but is a part of life and I guess our job is to accept this and find our way to peace. It's OK, not to be OK sometimes, because you know what, it will pass, and it will happen time and time again as life changes from day to day, but at least you know now that you aren't alone.