Mindful posts can save us; Social media can make us check ourselves

"Hate my life." #forever alone "She tried it. She really tried it." "I'm the baddest bitch...." You are probably reading these phrases right now and wondering what the hell am I saying, but these right here, are examples of posts that some of us might have been guilty of posting on social media outlets out of sheer naivety, anger, sadness, or boredom perhaps. Nonetheless, I am now realizing that what we post on sites such as Facebook really does impact how we are perceived by others. Sometimes it seems like we are just venting for ourselves perhaps, but we have to keep in mind that social media is "social" and other people are there to watch us from the sidelines. I'm not perfect and as I write this blog post, I am thinking about how I can be mindful of this in the future. I've been called out before on my posts, and it was definitely a lesson for me to either practice what I preach or simply be cautious of how I am being perceived by others. Social media sites are tricky because we are all aiming to craft out certain images for ourselves and usually how we think we are branding ourselves can be different from what others have witnessed. Now, don't get me wrong, this is helpful advice, but regardless of if we are doing good or bad in life, we will forever be judged and criticized until the day we die. That is just how life works and comes along with human nature. However, being mindful of what we say and do in this life can truly save our asses.

Managing your mental health is a learning process: You are never alone

Hey ya'll, hope you are all enjoying your summer! The weather is just beautiful daily out here! On another note, I'm blogging today about a topic that I believe is very imperative, whether you or someone you know has dealt with it or not. And that is, mental health, and finding ways to manage it in ways that will be beneficial to you. Now, I totally understand that not everyone can relate to this topic, hence why I try and not make EVERY single post related to mental health, and also for the mere reason of varying my content. However, this will be a topic I will always be an advocate for, because people out there who experience issues such as depression, anxiety, and any other mental illness, needs to understand that I understand and there are millions of individuals world wide who have gone through what you have gone through, even if you feel alone in your battle. I went through a very major depression in 2013, so bad that I literally thought I would never get better. In all of my young life, I have never experienced something so terrifying and mind altering. Now I am no psychologist, but for those who are wondering how depression works, I can explain that for you. Everyone has ups and downs emotionally. That is totally understood. This life is full of unexpectancies, happy moments, periods of enriching self-discovery, and all in all, different surprises that teach us the importance of learning from every experience. So low moods and high moods from time to time, are simply a part of life. However, there are low moods that can be a little different. The one that makes one uninterested in almost anything, sleeping more often, or loss of appetite. Or there is the more severe type, the one where emotional disturbances (severe low mood), leads to thoughts of hopelessness, insignificance, and even death. I experienced the second type of depression in 2013 but I am in a much better place now. However, it is still a daily challenge for me. I still have periods where I am praying I don't slide back down there. Now as a 20 year old woman, I have to look for ways to cope, because in all honesty, most people will not understand what you are going through, at all. Mental illness or emotional struggles are global issues, but experienced on a very personal level. No one will understand unless they have been there themselves and this lack of understanding can sometimes lead to conflict with others. It is very frustrating to feel like you yourself lacks understanding in how to cope, and others around you are trying to cope with you themselves. I'm here to tell you that I understand your pain. I understand your struggle, but you will get through. You just have to keep on fighting every single day and know that you are here for a very important reason. Make a journal of your emotional stability, excercise, eat healthy, listen to uplifting music. Look for ways to combat your challenges. Life is full of surprises, often unflattering ones, but remember, you are here for a very important reason. Peace and love.

If you didn't make mistakes, you would eventually wonder why tf you are here.

It's a beautiful day outside on this lovely Saturday afternoon. I'm hunched over my computer screen and I can hear the birds chirp and cars that wizz by, loud ass music coming from a car every so often. I don't know why some people feel the need to blast their 2 Chainz so loud that the whole neighborhood can join in on their mini turn up session, but let me not lose my train of thought here. I'm sitting here and as I whip through some articles from Thought Catolog, I can't help but feel out of it. Distracted by thoughts of imperfection and flaws. I'm thinking to myself, do I really know enough about myself to see where I can improve? We often get into the habit of judging people on a daily basis, but what about us? How can we improve to be the best we can be? Well, sitting here now, the best advice I can give for evolving into one's best self, is to realize that we will not live on this planet without making several mistakes, often foolish ones. At the time of our mistakes, we may believe we are incapable of making any and will feel bad later on when we realize we have and might beat ourselves up over and over again. Don't. Let the process of life direct you in the best way it knows it can, and just allow yourself to unfold into the being you were called to be. Don't analyze why you were this way and feel bad for yourself, because the mistake you made yesterday is just the first of many. Yeah you will mess up from time to time, but you are still a freakin, super duper, awesome ass person with a great purpose in this life. So don't let your sensitive soul get the best of you, but stand up tall and just keep on going.

Every experience is a stepping stone to greatness

I'll be completely honest with you, I don't necessarily feel like writing right now, but I will because it's a part of me and I love expressing myself. I've been looking for a job for about two months and it is quite frustrating at times. I like to be productive all the time and being home when the weather is all lovely and ish, really isn't my ideal summer plan. However, I am now realizing that sometimes things have to be a little shaky before the goodies come around and that every experience, whether good or bad is a stepping stone to greatness. As much as I despise being unemployed, me being jobless motivates me to keep on searching even if it takes a while and allows me to direct my energies to other aspects of my life that need taking caring of while I wait for employment. On another note, there are also frustrations in our lives. Perhaps we are consumed with how we perceive ourselves and how others perceive us. We may have gotten into a conflict with someone over our attitude for instance. Sometimes people have to keep us in check and remind us of how we can change and grow. The truth hurts at first for sure, especially if you are sensitive like me, but we always end up becoming stronger. I'm an adult now, well at least that's what Canada has declared once you reach the age of 18, lol, and the transition into full adulthood is not easy. We are changing emotionally, growing mentally and physically, and there are more responsibilities to tackle. However, with transition comes some lessons to be learned and the bad usually comes before the good. So you, yes, the one reading this. I know life is not all peaches and cream at times, but you are here for a reason. You have a purpose and it will only be discovered once the storm has passed.

"You're sooo sensitive."

It's been a minute since I've blogged, but I'm here now peoples. So sit back, grab some munchies and let's get real together. As you've noticed from the title of this blog, I'm addressing sensitivity. I've gotten sensitivity associated with me plenty of times. I'll have a dicussion with someone about a topic that I may have taken to heart and I'll get, "You are just sensitive." I'll be honest with you, it bothers me when I hear this because in this cold and often ruthless world, everyone usually wants to see themselves as the tough ass, the one that is capable of handling whatever comes their way and has the ability to take criticism or opinions with a grain of salt. However, not everyone is built that way. To tell you the truth, I don't even think anyone starts off being that way, but the world has the ability to change you. Nice and often naive souls can turn bold and fearless. I'm aiming to get to that point, but what I am not saying is to lose your sensitivity. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being sensitive because that means you have the ability to connect and relate with people on an emotional level and create a deep sense of understanding to whatever someone may going through. The only issue is when one is sensitive to the point where criticism allows you to believe you should give up on your dreams or that you are incapable of conducting yourself in an assertive matter. With time, you will toughen up because you will get tired of being taken advantage of and will begin to realize how the world really works. Nonetheless, keep smiling at people you see on the street, give compliments freely, and feel deeply for others because we need a world where there are more kind and genuine souls. Carry a heart of gold, but just remember to bring your brain with you.

Diary of an Introvert: Semi now...the world changes you

I’m an introvert. Well, partly. I have been since childhood and what most people confuse for shy actually has a name and an explanation. Introverted people are thought to focus more on internal feelings and moods as opposed to seeking out external stimulation. In terms of traits, introverts tend to be more quiet, reserved, and quite introspective. It is also said that introverts need time to recharge after being out for certain periods of time and that it takes more energy to socialize than that of an extrovert. Now, I mentioned earlier that I consider myself to be partly introverted, and this too has a term, ambivert. Weird right? All these names for how we perceive ourselves, but at least there is an explanation for it all. The reason why I consider myself to be an ambivert is because although I am highly introspective and in my head a lot of the times, I make an extra effort to be social in public situations and I do it well. I still have a way to go, but I can spark up a random conversation with someone when I’m out and I’m sure to do so because I feel like I have to. Now I am not saying that introverts don’t do this, but people have told me that they wouldn’t consider me shy and this because of the way I carry myself and of course, there is a reason. I’ve been in public settings where I know absolutely no one and I begin to feel extremely uncomfortable. I start to think, omg people must think I’m such a loner, I have no one to talk to…they are probably wondering why I am so shy. So, as a result, I try to spark conversations with people in public and work through my introversion. I’ve gotten shy equated with me during my childhood and there is this negative connotation associated with it in our society. I remember distinctly feeling out of place a lot of the times when I went to family functions because I considered myself to be different from everyone else. I was quieter than my cousins and everyone always wanted me to break out of my shell. It definitely affected my self-esteem. For a long time I thought something was wrong with me, but now I know that I have introverted traits. For introverts reading this, trust me, I share your pain. It is definitely not easy to have a reserved personality in a society that shuns the shy guy. Even when applying for jobs you may be told to be outgoing and for someone who isn’t, this can seem like a lot of work. Although I try and handle myself when I’m in public, I am still not a fan of crowds, at all. It gives me anxiety and I often feel like I want to run away, but with time, that will get easier. Introverts have to work harder than those who are outgoing because our society is a society of the loud and the memorable. People want to be around those who can crack a joke and attract others to them. It’s effed up in a way, but that’s how it goes unfortunately. My advice for introverts is to slowly but surely make a way for yourself to be memorable. I am not saying to change who you are, but I know the pain you feel being in social settings and to ease the pain, be the first one to introduce yourself. The more you sit quietly, the more uncomfortable you will feel. Making the first move can be exactly what you need to improve your self-esteem and you’ll be surprised at how well you conduct yourself. Introverts are often put on the back burner, but we have all kinds of power. We just have to use it.

Imperfection is Beauty: We are perfect just the way we are

I believe as individuals, we are all on this planet to fulfill a purpose. 
If we weren’t what would be the point of living?  No one can tell me that working a 9-5 shift, sleeping, eating, and doing groceries is all we came here for. There is a higher purpose for all of our lives. One of the things that comes along with that purpose is accepting who we are, just as we are. I’m on that journey now, but to be honest, I think I’ve been on this journey for quite a while. One of the things that I’m working through is trying not to criticize myself. I do this quite a lot. If we are going to get superficial, sometimes it’s hard for me to look into the mirror and simply be happy with who I am, but I am worth loving, so I will continue to work on my self-esteem. Criticism doesn’t just go for looks, it goes for everything. Whether it be our physical appearances or our current life standing, we need to learn acceptance. I know, it’s not that easy, but everything takes time, and with time also comes practice.

We need to be kind and patient with ourselves as we trudge along on this journey called life. I believe in God, and I believe that He has us exactly where we need to be in our lives. Nothing is based on coincidence. He has planned our victories, our tribulations, and our tests because they conspire for our benefit. So, perfectionism really just doesn’t make any sense. If God accepts us, then we should accept us. Now, I am vomiting a whole lot of beautiful philosophy here, but please don’t be under the impression that I have my shit sorted out. I don’t. I am on a journey and writing what I feel is therapeutic and it gives my feelings purpose. Through writing, I hope to help myself and my readers as well. The truth is, we are all a little bit of a mess in some ways. No one has it all together. But there is beauty in imperfection because it allows us to be real and vulnerable and unapologetically honest with ourselves. I am aiming to get to a place where I am totally at peace with who I am. We all are in some way. So as we sort ourselves out day by day, let us remember that perfection may be a stumbling block. We are exactly the way we need to be. And that is beautiful.