5 Ways Blogging Gives you Confidence as a Person

In today's world, there are tons and tons of blogs to read that range from a variety of different topics. There are fashion blogs, technology blogs, cooking, lifestyle, and even blogs dedicated to feminism. The list is truly endless because everyone out there has a story and ideas to contribute regardless of whether or not you are a professional or well seasoned writer. Previously, my ass was clueless to the blogging world. I was at a point where I was really trying to find my place as a writer and contemplated whether or not the title of "a writer" should even be associated with my name. I know doubtful right? But I'm human and that kind of mindset comes along with self-discovery and career building. Everything takes time. Now, however, I am proud to say that I absolutely LOVE being a blogger and I am kinda blog obsessed these days. But I have a reason to be because blogs are awesome and so is blogging. Here are 5 ways that blogging gives you confidence as a person.

1. You feel like a total badass because what you have written is yours

As a writing major who is determined to better my craft, taking a look at what I have written is truly liberating. You actually have the chance to see for yourself how much you have grown as a writer and as a person by analyzing and editing your own content.


2. You are voicing your opinion.

In today's age of social media, we do indeed have the opportunity to voice our different opinions on various platforms. However, sometimes the amount we put out there is limited because of the domain. Sometimes I have to remind myself that FB isn't my blog and thus the paragraph posted just isn't needed. When you have your own blog however, you have a voice that isn't constrained because of the ability to say whatever tf you want.


3. You actually feel like you have accomplished something big, however small.

Every accomplishment in life should be viewed as big, but in the grande scheme of things, we equate "big" things with landing a writing internship, getting our articles published on other sites, or getting a book published. However, having your own blog is god damn powerful. It's yours, you say what you want, you have the ability to impact lives, and you are developing your writing skills. You are one one foot in the door, and every writer, every person, needs a head start.

4. It allows you to grow intellectually as a person because you are bettering your life and thinking

We spend so much time these days on social media just browsing and wasting time. But a blog allows you to have something productive to do on a daily basis. You get to talk about solid and relevant issues that matter beyond likes and hashtags.

5. It gives you a creative edge

Finally, not everyone is a blogger and not every blogger will be able to blog like you do. Your voice is unique and special. It's always great to know you have finally found a talent that is fun and gives you some damn personality.

6 Things the Perpetually Nice Person Experiences

It's often said that "nice people finish last." Not sure if that is the actual quote, but the way I coined it makes it an accurate statement. Nonetheless, this is a world of the fast and the furious. Where we are taught to look out for ourselves and that being too sensitive gets you absolutely no where. I can vouch for that statement partially because even as a super softy myself, it is crucial to tough it out in uncomfortable situations and be assertive when we need to, because unfortunately, that's just how the world operates. However, who wants to be a bitch or a a total douche bag just because society says so? There is a fine line between becoming a cold hearted human being and being strong, assertive, and savvy. If you are a naturally kind hearted person, I can tell you that it is definitely difficult to find a balance between nice, too nice, and a total bitch. Here are 6 things that happen as the perpetual nice guy.

1. You begin to reveal your inner diva and then feel bad about it.

I am sure that there are some people who were total softies at one point and then became that "ruthless" person. It happens. It happens because places like the work place need bold people who get things done and who aren't easily swayed or offended by the opinions of others. I think my last point is valid, but I am sure most nice people go through the stage (me currently) where they say bold shit, do bold shit, and then feel like a bad person who totally feels like they run the world.

2. You are naturally friendly and charming towards people, and when it's not reciprocated, you feel like you are an alien from outer space.

It's definitely easy for nice people to feel like they belong on Mars. Of course there are super nice and bubbly people in the world. I come across them everyday along with the sour ones. However, most people these days are not so bold in their expression of kindness because of what has been ingrained in us otherwise. So when we feel bold enough to smile at a person randomly, we shutter quietly as that person greets us with a straight face.

3. You begin to get apprehensive when dealing with people.

Whether you are introverted or extroverted, you are a pleasant person and who doesn't like pleasant? However, because of your previous situations with people who put a damper on your happy bubble, you assume everyone in the world has a heart of stone.

4. You are utterly relieved when you meet other nice and bubbly people.

When you finally meet people that share in your automatic flavour of exuberance, you feel that yes, there is hope for me and the rest of us nice souls and there is definitely a space for me in this world. You figure that you can go ahead and randomly compliment people without feeling like an overly friendly weirdo after all.

5. You may be sensitive, and feel that because you are you can't take on the world

I am definitely guilty of this. I'm naturally sensitive and because things get to me sometimes, I'll assume that I can't pursue my dream of becoming a speaker and my life is doomed and confined to the walls of my bedroom.

6. You waver between being a bitch and and a softy.

Finally, you go through periods where you actually wonder if you should just be a bitch and call it a day, figuring that yes, now my life will be easy and people will never take advantage of me.

Truth is though, I don't regret being nice because I can be assertive and still make people feel like they matter. That's pretty damn awesome.

It's OK to NOT be OK...

Being vulnerable and open with our emotions is something I think a lot of people sway from. When we feel sad, we try and stuff our feelings down in the hope that it will go away. We do this with food, people, media, distractions that take us away from our problems. However, when we feel sad, we feel it deeply and wholeheartedly and secretly yearn for someone to look into our eyes and tell us that everything will be ok. Even if this isn't vocalized, it's a fleeting thought for most because it is a natural human condition to feel connected to each other. To feel like yes, I am feeling sad today, but you know what, someone else gets how I feel.


I'm not talking about depression, which is much deeper. I am talking about sadness. An empty feeling that consumes one sometimes and passes by like a stranger uninvited in the most abrupt and unexpected way. It's like being out in the sun, enjoying the view of the grass and the sounds of kids playing and then, BOOM, a cold wind hits you in the pit of your soul and stays there while the sun continues to radiate throughout the day.It comes randomly, as a reminder that life isn't perfect. I know this has been experienced by everyone because we cannot be happy 24/7 despite the fact that this is what the world expects of us. I know this is true because as time goes on and different experiences fill the lives of different people around us and at different times, and as social media portrays countless images of "happiness" for different people, we yearn to find our solace and our sense of peace. I know this is true, because someone is not always there to tell us that they understand and we are left to place the puzzle pieces of our emotions together for ourselves.


I'm so incredibly open about how I feel, because it is healthy to reveal that yes, I feel like crying sometimes and yes it's a struggle to find my way in this big world because I have been taught to put the pieces of my life together for myself and sometimes I feel lost, confused, and frustrated. I'm open about it because it is my place not to cover up the emotions that have been thrust on me as a human being for fear of being ridiculed and judged, despite the fact that the girl you saw the other day very well may have cried herself to sleep. I'm open about it, because being sad sometimes isn't our fault but is a part of life and I guess our job is to accept this and find our way to peace. It's OK, not to be OK sometimes, because you know what, it will pass, and it will happen time and time again as life changes from day to day, but at least you know now that you aren't alone.

What Working Retail has Taught Me

Getting a job, whether part-time or full time is a great experience, especially if you are fresh to the working world. You get a chance to really see how things work in particular job sectors and you get to meet a lot of great people. Some, not so great, but they nonetheless teach you something. Getting a job however, can be nerve-racking. The interview processes these days require you to really stand out from the crowd and know your stuff. You have to search the company before arriving at your interview, ensure that you are pleasant to ALL people within the company (even people who are not interviewing you), and you have to ensure you SPEAK UP by asking employers questions and standing out in group interviews. I am on the reserved side, but I have a knack for talking to people and being charismatic in these situations, despite the fact that I have a long way to go. I have worked retail and I can definitely say this is a great industry, particularly for people who want to get themselves out there more. Here are 6 things I have learned thus far.

1. You have to jump right in there. Fresh off the scene or not!

I know this is a must for any job, because you have to show initiative and jump right in there when you first start, but nerves and confusion can get in the way sometimes. However, in retail, you have no choice but to get your ball in the court as soon as you clock in because people will be expecting you to know your stuff especially if you are working in a big establishment. People everywhere want to know where the closest escalator is, what the price check on something is, where the bathroom is (...), and where the closest cash register is. So really, even if it is your first day, there really is no time to twiddle your thumbs in retail.


2. You learn to speak up

Even if you are not working in retail, a job forces you to speak up anyway because obviously you need to be heard if you have questions or concerns, or especially if you have a boss who expects you to be outgoing. Sucks for introverts, but that is how it goes. Nonetheless, retail gives you a voice you may not have had before and this will happen whether you are prepared for it or not. You are the first person people see on the floor before they get to cash, so first impressions are everything. And if I might add, coming from someone who likes an excuse to talk to people and be my bubbly over friendly self, it is actually fun after a while.

3. You have a reason to look cute at every freakin shift

Retail is all about fashion, whether basic or Louis Vuitton type ish. It is an industry that is based much on fist impressions so it is a great opportunity to dress up and look professional, especially for people who are already into that vibe anyway. You also get to learn new fashion trends from your employees and see first hand what the go to looks for the season really are.


4. You start to want everything in the store. Literally.

When working retail, you are surrounded by cute ish every minute of the day while you are at work so it is so hard not to want to try to coordinate an outfit while you try and get a nagging customer that last pair of jeans that is in stock. You will probably end up putting every item you can on hold but if you are broke as hell like me, keeping shit in a budget is the way to go.

5. You learn to deal with various personalities.
As much as we would love for everyone in the world to have a heart of gold, that is not how it works. There will be rude customers who blatantly ignore your charming hello, annoying kids running around the store and heading towards your freshly stocked shelf, and bosses and employees with strong personalities. However, different personalities allow us to really toughen up for the real world, because the truth is, there are all TYPES of people.

6 You gain more respect for employees when you go shopping

Before I worked retail, I was one of those people who did not give af if I just threw a jacket over a perfectly clean rack because I just assumed that someone would be there to take it up and fix it. However, working in retail can be frustrating because you have to ensure your assigned sections are cleaned before the end of the night, something that can be hard to accomplish when people are constantly messing up shelves and throwing things around carelessly. So, when you shop for yourself, you remember those annoying customers and will go and make an effort to fix that sweater that fell off the rack. Well...sometimes. :p

Lonliness. It can be dreadful, but it's there for our own good

Feeling lonely can suck. It's the feeling of being around yourself 24/7 but not really feeling like anyone gets you, can connect to your emotions, or moments of confusion and despair. In this technological crazed society, it's easy to feel lonely because no one really takes the time to pick up the phone and call each other anymore. Everyone is just a Facebook message and text away these days, and honestly, it hurts sometimes. It hurts to go to bed with your own thoughts wishing someone could comfort you and it hurts knowing that not everyone will understand how to relate to you and cater to your needs. It hurts knowing that as you get older, the hugs seem less and the check ins seem far and few, and it hurts to know that for the most part, we will have to get used to this feeling because it's a part of life.

However, loneliness allows us to develop a strength within our selves that may have been lacking before. We learn not to expect so much from people, especially if we are naturally giving people ourselves. We know that when someone fails to text us back in our moments of need, that instead of hating that person for failing to reply, we can do something ourselves to fill a void and provide ourselves with comfort. There is a resilience that is built through loneliness. As human beings, we sometimes feel that a love interest will perhaps fill any void that we may have had. But the truth is, no human being can do that for us, we gotta do it for ourselves even though it hurts sometimes and even though there are many days alone, these days allow us to tap into who we are as people and begin the journey of becoming our true selves and our own best friends. So will there be more lonely days ahead? Yes there will, and sometimes it will get to us. But rest assured, we will be able to handle it a lot better than we did before.

Why Comparing Ourselves to Others is Stupid

There was a time in our lives when we never compared ourselves to anyone. When we crawled around the floor and picked up stale peanuts with our mouths and pooped all over our mother's good sheets. Yup, we were babies then. Naive, messy, cute little souls who couldn't give a hoot what the other baby across the playground was doing because momma warmed up a nice bottle that did us just right. I miss those days sometimes, even though I can't remember them, because back then, there was no competition, no looking over the shoulders to see what everyone else was doing. I think for a while I convinced myself that I don't compare myself to other people, but sometimes, it creeps up on me, and the feeling, is absolutely horrible. We compare and judge where we are in our lives in comparison to other people, and presume that the world must be coming to an end because everyone's life is somehow better than ours. For instance, I've been single my whole life and I'll admit, I went through the stage where I dwelled on it for a while. I'm not there anymore, but now and then when I hear or see things happening around me, I feel like I've been left out and those old, horrible, freakin, "I must be missing out thoughts" reemerge and ruin my whole freakin day. I might slip up because I am indeed human, but at least I'll have these reasons to fall back on the next time I see myself going back down there again. Here are 6 reasons why comparison should be marked as a sin in the Holy Bible.

1. It distracts us from who we are as a person

Every time we compare ourselves to someone else, we aren't being ourselves and that just screws up our whole aura. Do you ever notice that when you compare yourself to someone else, you feel lost? When you are focused on you, everything in your life seems to be going great, but the minute we slip up and dwell on other people, we feel like absolute and utter shit. It is a distraction from our purpose. Someone else's life is not meant to be ours and the minute we sway, we lose who WE are.

2. It's insulting

I saw a quote online that says when we compare ourselves to others we are "insulting" ourselves. The first time I saw that quote, I thought it was quite arrogant. Why would we be insulting ourselves? What is wrong with the other person that we feel the need to put ourselves on a pedestal? However, what I get from that quote now, is that comparison is truly an insult because we are telling ourselves that our lives have no meaning so why not compare it to someone else's?

3. It ruins the notion of being an individualist, and that freakin rocks

Think about it, and while you think, I'll think right with ya. If we compare ourselves, are we being who we were called to be? Every person has skills, dreams, assets, and life experiences that are their own, so why compare? Who tf cares what the next person is doing, because you rock and what you bring to the table, is truly unique. When it comes to bettering ourselves, there is nothing wrong with being selfish

4. It makes us feel like we need to be doing what everyone else is doing, but everyone's path is different (We can't eff up our paths)

Everyone was created differently, and thus, what works for you, may not work for someone else, and vice versa. For instance, if someone gets a job before you and you ask yourself, "why not me?" The very reason could be that the job for YOU, just hasn't arrived yet along with the timing to get the job. I know it is cliche this topic, because we have all been there at one point or the other and we are always told not to compare, but still in some way, end up doing it. However, over time, we will realize that comparison, can actually ruin OUR lives.

6. The more we focus on ourselves, the happier we are for people.

The thing with jealousy is that it is the worst emotion in the whole world and can literally make us crazy and into someone we thought we could never be. But, it is an emotion and just comes from lack of self-awareness. When we tap into being amazing people, we expect others to also be amazing and thus, envy and anxiety dissipate into the air.
Finally, it's annoying, exhausting, and it makes us feel crappy. Clearly we were built individually for a reason and that's why we need to focus on ourselves.

Writing this blog post, I am trying not to be fake, because I am still in the process of getting it together, but I'm a writer and i will write this for my readers, and also for myself. This is a topic that will never go out of style, because honestly, we have all been there.

Social Media: I Take Breaks. Here's Why.

Ahh, social media. The pics, the likes, the updates. It's all shoved into our faces every single moment we decide to log onto our social media accounts. It has become a major part of our culture and is known as the culture that perpetuates the notion to be seen, heard, recognized, and ultimately, validated. I'll admit it, I enjoy social media at times and who doesn't. I would be a complete fake if I sat here and wrote this article without expressing the fact that I post pics of myself, awesome pics, and construct my social media pages in the best way possible.

That's what it is for. Social media is meant to highlight the best of the best, the glam and the happenings. Of course there will be occasional posts that are sad and draw the attention of fellow social media users, or stories that perhaps captivate us at the heart.

There are posts begging others to sympathize in the midst of a lost loved one, and posts that rant and rave about how awful the day is going. However, for the most part, we post the good. We post the good so that we can of course showcase how proud we are of ourselves and what we may have accomplished, but we also showcase the good for appraisal. It's just how it works. However, what can also happen in the midst of our social media craze, is the need to compare ourselves to other people, appear perfect at all times, and because what we wish to share is only a click away, we voice our opinions sometimes without truly thinking. For me, I have caught myself getting distracted by the lives of other people and have definitely posted without thinking, posted too much, and have succumbed to the pressures to be perfect. So, I take breaks. I truly try and tap into what it means to be human outside of this technologically crazed generation, and try and tap back into my life beyond the likes and posts. I take breaks so I can redefine who I am again. I take breaks because it's tiring to constantly be technologically charged and emotionally drained. I take breaks, because I am often a different person outside of social media. I am not saying we should not showcase our best selves and share our moments with others, but what I am saying is that time spent to be human and really re-evaluate our lives is necessary for our sanity.