6 Struggles You Deal with When You Don't Know Your Passion

Not knowing what my passion is can be extremely frustrating. There are times, like today, when I just get annoyed and feel like a drifter in this life. Like I'm living, but slightly just going through the motions, and what is expected of me. School, finding a job, staying busy, etc. Pretty ordinary right? This is exactly why I crave finding my passion but I just have no clue what it is and I have never really known to be honest with you.

Although finding my passion matters to me, there are probably some people who are wondering why I even care. And by simultaneously not diminishing this issue and stressing that finding your passion shouldn't be a MAIN priority to the point where you are just fed up, a passion is relevant because it is a driving force in my life and your life. I'm a creative person, so I don't think life is a black and white situation. That mind set always annoys me to the core. To me, life is about shining and doing things that make us happy, but also finding out our strengths so we can go and then share our awesomeness with the world.


Think about what makes you happy: your talents, skills, and exciting life experiences. These are all aspects that can combine together to create a passion and knowing this and thoroughly enjoying what comes along can truly make us happy. Now I don't want this to seem like happiness lies in finding a career or what I have mentioned thus far pertains to what we were destined to become and if we don't find it, that is the end all be all. Finding our dream career is a part of this conversation as well, but that is not exactly what I mean. What I mean is finding out what makes us smile day by day and keeps us motivated to keep at this hobby/skill maybe daily and stay motivated to just find out more about this hobby or skill. Finding our passion(s) is a way of discovering who we really are, because like me, I'm sure a lot of us simply don't ave a clue. That being said, here 6 struggles we deal with when we don't know what our passion(s) are.

1. You start to feel like a drifter

Sometimes I honestly feel like a drifter. I am so happy for people who are living out their dreams of being motivational speakers, authors, or simply enjoying hobbies or skills that they love, but when you are genuinely confused like I am everything can just feel like a bummer from time to time even if you have a skill or hobby that you've improved on. For me, I'm so proud of myself that I am a writer and I love fiction writing and crave to get better, but some days I'm passionate about it and some days I'm not. I never ever woke up and said, I was made to be a writer. Everything right now is simply one big ball of trial and error. It can definitely be discouraging.


2. You know things take time, but you are impatient

I'm not a patient person, but I'm working on it. One thing I can say though is I like to be busy and have a sense of purpose and even though I'm young, that's simply not enough for me to just say, in time it will all work out. It would be nice to just have things discovered now.


3. You may be inconsistent and lack motivation from time to time

I write currently and I do have a knack and strong love for fiction writing. I guess this is a passion in the making? I'll say so. But for now, I am inconsistent from time to time and sometimes I'll be on hold for a while before my creative juices begin to stir and all kinds of ideas come to my head.

4 You may feel like you'll never know

Laugh at me if you may because I am 21 and clearly have my whole life ahead of me to figure things out, but when time begins to go day by day and you are determined to seek answers, you may think that light bulb will never click and maybe you'll never find out just what your passion really is.

5. You feel empty from time to time

I feel most inspired when I'm creative and doing something that feeds my soul. Helping others feel good, new projects to take on, etc. But when I don't know what my next step should be, I start to feel like I'm in a rut.

6. Despite this, the desire that persists within you keeps you going

Although I feel down from time to time and just frustrated with where I'm at in life, not knowing my purpose yet drives me and keeps me inspired to discover this. Even with my writing, I'm interested to see how I will improve and how far my talent will go. Rome wasn't built in a day and Oprah had her moments before greatness. I'll hold on to that.

What Really Goes Through Our Minds Once We Hit Our 20's

I feel like it was literally just the other day I was in elementary school with my gawky self and slanted glasses. I played with my so called friends, who were really just bitches in disguise. I remember thinking how old 21 sounded and the very idea of twenties in itself seemingly daunting. Now that I’m here though, I can definitely say the experience is a whole host of lessons learned and a whirlwind of emotions. On the positive side, growing older makes you feel more liberated. You’ve finally grown into your looks and the glo up is real. You can say and think whatever you want for the most part because you can. You make your own decisions and define your own reality.

However, on the flip side, growing up has its negatives and if anyone tells you otherwise, they are either lying or have gone so far down into their emotions that they are so used to certain feelings. I don't want to sound like a pessimist but I also always keep it real. It isn't easy because what no one wants to admit is that we are all one big hot mess at this point in our lives, concealed with tall Starbucks frappuccino's, glamorous Facebook and Instagram posts, and gadgets that keep us distracted from our problems. But inside, we are grappling with who we are and how we want the world to perceive us. We wonder why our paths seem different from everyone else's. We want to know what we will do after school and what the future holds.

We think about what it feels like to truly be in love when we are stopped in our tracks again by a new relationship post on our feeds. We feel pressured, unsure, and desperately wish that adulthood didn't seem so complicated. We silently have these thoughts that swirl around in our minds but we are too afraid to open up for fear of being that person who seems like a hot mess 24/7. Let's not forget that the older we get, the more it seems as if no one is really there for you. I know this isn't true because I do have people in my life who care about me, but it's definitely a different feeling. It's the feeling of people being there for you, but from a far because everyone is secretly trying to sort out their own lives. For a while I would get angry because it seemed as if I would pour my heart out and be there for people and in return no one gave a flying f*ck.


But, then I realized that everyone is going through something, particularly those in their 20's. Everyone is on their own little journey and although it's filled with new experiences and enlightenment, it's ok to say that we just don't know what we are doing from time to time. I want us to actually get to a point where we feel it's ok to be open and vulnerable with our emotions. We live in a society where we are just taught to keep it together. The minute we step outside our doors our forlorn expressions must be magically switched to a decent disposition with a dash of energy ready to greet anyone who passes us by.

But we are human and this isn’t a human reality. We deal with real life stuff and we deserve to recognize that we can just chill and be normal. So what’s the solution to these crappy feelings? Well, from experience I’m just assuming that time heals all. There will be days that are crappy but it won’t last forever, even though in the moment it hurts. We should remind ourselves of the good things that have happened in the past, the happy moments, and feel certain that they will come again. No one really knows what our peers go through behind closed doors so we need to be there for one another and offer an ear to listen when in need. We need to listen to our friends’ cry their hearts out sometimes and shout that they have no clue what to do with their lives and offer solid advice instead of a weak, “I understand.”

Slowly but surely, we need to stop comparing our lives to other people because we know that never helps us in the end. We need to stop holding everything in and just admit that for now, our young 20 something selves are sorting everything out. We'll get to a stage where everything makes sense. I feel your pain, frustration, and confusion. I guess we'll ride the waves for now, knowing that someday it will all make sense.

Perfectionism is a problem and we need to acknowledge that

Just recently, I realized that I have a problem. We all have some sort of problem really, but sometimes it takes experiences that happen over and over again for us to get the lesson that we need to get. There’s a quote that says, “God will keep you where you are until you get the lesson.” Before when I saw this quote, I would just say yeah, that is some inspirational ish, which is usually my reaction to anything inspirational. It’s in my nature. But lately, I have noticed that life is imperfection. To my readers thinking, no shit life is imperfection, it isn’t a fairytale, I would say that you are slightly in denial because I think we all believe everything is supposed to go smoothly for us. This is why when we are faced with one little obstacle, we can’t take it because we had this idea in our heads of the way things are supposed to go. I’ll give you a perfect example.


I just started writing for a blog site and once I got accepted I became ecstatic. The site is pretty well known and has millions of readers. Usually when I see other people writing for blog sites, I think wow, she has really gotten somewhere with her writing.
Some writers like myself, usually suffer from low self-esteem when it comes to our writing. That’s just the truth. We think we aren’t good enough when we should be giving ourselves props for even writing in the first place, but, I digress. So I got in and thought, damn, my ass is gonna be famous and because I am in everything will just go off from here and that begins the story of a simple girl turned into an overnight success. WRONG. LOL.

First of off, my narcissist mindset definitely needs to be kept in check, because writing for a blog site isn’t about fame, it’s about art and advice. Simple as that. And because I was focused so much on my blog being accepted, my second article just wasn’t up to par for publication as yet and my first article got rejected. Not really a big deal and not really a life threatening crisis, but nonetheless, we all have moments where we think everything is supposed to go smoothly and that just isn’t the case. Things will get rejected, things will take a while to come, jobs will not fall into our laps immediately, and happiness and success won’t come overnight. This my friend, is the truth, but because I’m not one of these bloggers who ends things on a pessimistic, that’s life now get over it note I will end with the positive. The good will come. It will come from patience and persistence. This is a literal note to myself by the way. Patience and persistence. Patience is actually the number one key here because eventually good shit will happen but we perhaps need to take a few moments to just chill out. Previously, I never blogged, I didn’t write as much as I do now, never even thought I would contribute to a blogging site, and excitedly for me, I have actually gotten around to creating a vision board, yayyy. So, let’s just all chill out together and realize that life isn’t a fairy-tale but is full of lessons to be learned

What Girls Really Mean When They Say They Hate the “Nice Guy”

We’ve all heard the line, “Nice Guys Finish Last”. It’s a pretty blunt line, but I thought I’d give it a shot at defining what it actually means from a female perspective. When girls say they don’t like the nice guy, they mean they don’t want a damn pushover and a naïve soul. They don’t want a dude that seems like he is a yes man to almost everything simply because he feels like he is appeasing you. Fellas, let me tell you from now, that shit will not get you anywhere, especially if you are with someone who is perhaps introverted by nature. This is because females, as much as men, like adventure and women want someone who will add something extraordinary to her life, something that slightly differs from what she is usually accustomed to.


We like when guys have the ability to make us laugh, hold an intriguing conversation, and keep us on our toes. We like when you sometimes take the lead, not in a controlling way, but in a way that tells us you are trying to make your presence known. Everybody is made differently and I am not saying that people should start to change themselves, because simply put, some people are just not meant for each other. Personalities have to match and play off of each other, but everyone can benefit from learning not to be a complete bore. I wouldn’t say I’m the most adventurous person at this point in my life, and there are probably some things about myself that some guys find boring.


Cool, but I’m just not for them. But what I can say is that I try and make my presence known, laugh, and put the effort into making myself seem like I got it going on even if I don’t. So ladies, I totally feel you when you just get totally annoyed if a guy is acting stiff and slightly as if he has no backbone. I’m straight up and I can tell you from now that shit annoys me. I’ve told some friends this in the past, so people know I keep it real. This doesn’t have to even be all about relationships. It can be about friends as well. For me, I just don’t like guys who don’t interest me, even if we are friends. I like a sense of excitement in my life, especially if you are a male because I am getting a feel of the male perspective on things for a change. But if we are going to talk about relationships, this isn’t about finding someone who is a prick. It’s about finding someone who makes you feel secure and is assertive. Someone who doesn’t make you feel intimidated, but is confident, and not pompous, which in turn leaves you feeling at ease. I can go on, but I think you guys get the point. It’s all about personality and looks are just the delicious bonus.

Being that Perpetually Late Person is Actually Effin Embarrassing

You wake up suddenly out of your slumber and look at the time. You are on a roll you think to yourself. Making your way to the bathroom, you shower, brush your teeth, get dressed, and look at the clock. 10:30 am. Your class starts at 1pm and you have some time to spare. So, you decide to turn on some music and take a tad bit longer on your makeup, making sure to get your winged liner just as perfect as Adele's. You decide you'll also have time for some glittery shadow. You gaze at yourself and gloat at how freakin sexy you look and mentally thank your parents for creating such a badass human being. Time, 11:30 am. You are still kinda good. Breakfast is almost ready and your tea is halfway drunk. But, as you gather your things, you can't remember where your key is. Your bag is still not packed, your phone isn't charged, and you still need to purchase some bus tokens. Time 12:00 pm. It takes about an hour and a half to get to school. Mood: Shit, I'm screwed.

I'll admit it, I've been late quite a bit in my little lifetime. For school, not so much work (obviously because my ass will get fired), meeting up with people, appointments, etc. With that said, I'll admit that being late isn't a great feeling. You feel bad because when you arrive at an event whether 10 or 15 minutes later, you realize that you might be one of the few people that is late and conclude that you could have done better. There are several other people who have arrived on time, so why didn't you? Why I'm always late I'll give to poor planning, my distaste for the mornings, and procrastination.

These aren't excuses, but I should provide some reasoning for my screw ups. Recently, I have gotten a bit better, however. I'm not where I want to be yet, but little improvements definitely make a difference. I've realized that getting a full eight hours sleep is actually very beneficial to waking up on time and feeling refreshed and energized when we rise and is actually the truth and not just from the studies we've heard since eighth grade. I read an article recently that basically glorified being late. If we've always been we should just except it because it is a part of who we are. But, I don't think that's so. As much as I have been late, I'm not proud of it. It's embarrassing to always walk into a room with eyes on you for the wrong reasons. It is also a good practice to be on time because then it is something that automatically happens for us. Other people's time also needs to be respected. I'm working on it and slowly I will definitely be getting to where I need to be on time because I damn sure feel accomplished when I am on my A game. Besides, being on time leaves us less stressed. Life is stressful enough damn it and our tardiness shouldn't add to that.

From A's to D's, But I'll Survive

For college and uni students, grades are an important part of the academic process. They aren't as important as we think, which is something one realizes as she goes along, but I'll get to that later. Grades are an important part really just for the sake of passing the program you are in. Really and truly, and as time goes on, a student will realize that passing in college/uni is one hell of an accomplishment. In high-school, good grades come easy for some, and I was one of those people. I was damn well hardworking back then (probably a little too much but we'll discuss that in another blog) and I was passionate about always being better and looking for ways to improve not only my grades, but I applied what I had learned academically to myself on a whole. Yeah, pretty Oprah Winfrey inspired.

Now however, although the drive and determination is still there, my grades these days are less then peachy and sometimes it can get discouraging. I'm a Professional Writing major at York University as I mentioned before and that program in itself is quite unique, compelling, intense, challenging, and because some of the courses are boring, it feels like more effort has to be exerted in order to do well. There's really nothing worse than when the professor of one of your classes begins handing out the grades for students and when he comes across yours, is left with an expression of confusion on his face as to why you did so bad. LOL.

Yeah, this happened to me recently. My grades overall aren't horrible but they have dropped in certain places and when I begin to see other students around me with better grades it can really feel like I'm drowning. It feels this way not only because I feel I did bad, but also because I often struggle to find my place in my degree. I ask questions such as, "What will I even do with this degree?" "Why am I in writing?" "Can I even write that well?" and finally, "Is this my passion?" These are questions countless students ask themselves as they continue to pursue their degrees and go on in their quest to find their passions.

I think it's great that some people know from day one what the f*ck they want to do with their lives and degrees. Fantastic. But for some, however, it's a little bit more confusing down the line and doubts and bad grades only intensify that feeling. What I am learning now however, is that I need to embrace the "bad" grades I have gotten because that shows I have something I can learn from and these grades can motivate me to do better and be better. Which it has by the way. Getting the results we don't desire actually means that we are accepting imperfection which is a part of life. So, I'm going to try to embrace failure, even though it will be hard considering my type A nature, but I will start with where I am and what I have learned thus far. Bottom line, with whatever happens, I know I was destined to be great.

It's Not Cocky to Say You are Awesome: You Deserve It

In today's narcissistic, "every man for themselves" society, it is very easy to feel lost in the crowd, especially with all the expectations that are placed on us as people. No one wakes up in the morning thinking about how great a job you did at work the other day, or how fantastic it is that you have found a new hobby, or the fact that you are beginning to gain a newfound confidence in your craft. Positive accomplishments as such do indeed deserve recognition, but realistically, sometimes we are burdened with more negativity then anything and because of this, we beat ourselves up.


We beat ourselves up for thinking we are not as great as someone else, we beat ourselves up for not being where we want to be in our lives/careers, we beat ourselves up because we feel as if we aren't enough, and finally, we beat ourselves up based on the opinions of others. Constantly, we are bombarded with distractions that tell us we can't do certain things and that we are limited in our accomplishments.



However, it is important to work on changing that mindset. Yes, everyone has things that need improvement and yes we do have insecurities within us that tell us we can't be successful in whatever it is we desire for ourselves, but nonetheless, we deserve to give ourselves credit for how far we have come and what we bring to the table as people. We have to do this for ourselves, because constant validation from other people is close to nonexistent.



For me, I'm damn proud of myself for starting a blog and expressing my authentic voice. I'm proud that I am a writer and a fabulous one at that. I'm proud that in spite of succumbing to negativity sometimes, I am determined to build myself as a person and thus keep going. I'm proud for continuing on with charm and class on a daily basis even through I struggle with depression from time to time, and I'm proud for being unique, articulate, ambitious, creative, and having the ability to connect with people. Acknowledge your strengths despite feelings of inadequacy and fear in this world. Start small by beginning to see yourself as awesome. Not only will it take you far, but you deserve it.